Did you ever see that episode of South Park called "Grey Dawn"? That was a classic! The episode focussed on Elderly Drivers who were constantly killing people on the road everytime they got behind the wheel. Everytime they were driving, we would hear the classic Jaws themed shark-approaching music: "duna. duna. duna. duna. duna. duna. duna. duna-duna-duna-duna-duna-duna-duna-duna-duna-duna-duna-duna-duna-duna-duna-duna. duna-na-na-naaa..".
And then all of a sudden, SMASH!!! They've crashed into someone's house (image to the left), or a group of people (image above), or etc.
As funny as it was, it's a true issue that is killing innocent people every day. And the reason nobody does anything about it, is that the politicians are scared of offending the Seniors, especially given that these days, only Senior Citizens can be depended on to always show up to vote.
Before I go into it, here's a short clip from the script of that episode:
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< SOUTH PARK FARMER'S MARKET
[Day. A crowd is gathered under this banner
and listens to Father Maxi as he delivers a service.]
FATHER MAXI
Friends, we gather in this place to
mourn the victims of yesterday's tragedy:
nine good people who were run over in
the street by an elderly woman driver.
CARTMAN
Oh God, memorial services are sooo boring.
KYLE
You insensitive asshole, Cartman! Nine
people died!
CARTMAN
Yeah, but like, eight of them were hippies.
Mostly hippies go to farmer's markets.
Mostly
FATHER MAXI
It is sometimes hard, in times like
these, to understand God's way. Why
would he allow nine innocent people
to be run down in the prime of their
lives by a senior citizen who, perhaps,
shouldn't be driving? It is then that
we must understand, God's sense of humor
is very different from our own. He does
not laugh at the simple "man walks into
a bar" joke. No, God needs complex irony
and subtle farcical twists that seem
macabre to you and me. All that we can
hope for is that God got his good laugh
and a tragedy such as this will never
happen again.
MR. GARRISON
Look out!!
ELDERLY DRIVER
Huh? Was that a stop sign back there?
Ooooh, I think I hit a pot hole
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
So tell me, how many times have you been on the road, and you're wondering why everyone is moving soooo slow. Chances are, there is a Senior Citizen driving ahead of you (doing 20 km/h in a 50 km/h), barely staying in their lane and holding up traffic for miles.
I can't even count the number of times that I've seen people get so upset and frustrated, that they pull dangerous illegal maneuvers just to try and get around the person.
If you ask these Senior Citizen drivers why they drive sooo slow, they'll tell you that they're just trying to be careful. The truth is though, that they have to drive that slow, as they just can't handle the normal speeds of the road. It is just way too fast paced for them. Their instincts are just not that sharp at their age.
You ever wonder where that expression about "Sunday Drivers" came from? It came from those Senior Citizens who leave their homes once a week on Sundays (for Church), and are causing terror and mayhem on the roads due to their inability to stay alert and focussed due to their age.
Now, I don't blame the Seniors. Who are we to tell them to get off of the road when the Government allows them to drive? And as a Senior Citizen, if I'm allowed to drive by law, then I will definitely drive.
The problem is -as I mentioned above, the law-makers are too afraid to address this issue, as they are worried about the voting-backlash that will come as a result of their trying to make the roads safer for everyone.
Yesterday in Toronto, an 83 year old elderly woman was driving along and went right through a red light. Sure that happens all the time, but this time she hit a Mother and a baby in a stroller, and killed the mother. Luckily, the mother -at the last second- pushed the stroller out of the way, and the 18 day old baby survived.(http://www.torontosun.com/news/canada/2010/01/13/12446936.html)
Now, nobody wants to point out the obvious here, but I don't fucking care. There is no way in hell that this lady should have been driving!
Sure, the Senior's will say, "There are way too many accidents on our roads, many caused by 30 year old drivers, [and the odd] 40 year old and 50 year old driver. Do we need to re-assess their driving skills too? Are their victims somehow, less injured, less dead, etc?" (taken directly from comments on the Toronto Sun article noted above).
Well, I would expect this kind of ignorant comment from an offended Senior Citizen. You see, those 30 year old, 40 year old, and 50 year old drivers didn't fuck up due to physical medical age-related reasons.. They fucked up because they were driving carelessly.
Let me ask you this.. Those 30/40/50 year old drivers, if they killed that mother, they would definitely be charged with careless driving causing death, and would go to jail for it. Whereas, do you see this Senior Citizen getting charged with the same offense and going to jail for the rest of their lives?? No, most people would just ensure that her driving license was taken away. Something that should have been done regardless.
Anyway, in this article, Dalton McGuinty, the lying scum-sucking bullshit selling, piece-of-shit, Corrupt Premier of Ontario, who I justifiably refer to as Pinnochio McLongNose, very "pussily" suggested that, "There does come a point in time when it is no longer safe for you to drive a car and you have to be honest with yourself in that regard".
Instead of creating legislation that would remove drivers who are 80 years and older from the road, he suggests that they be "honest" with themselves in regards to whether they should be driving??... This is his solution?? Sounds to me like a very cowardly way of addressing the issue, but not offending the Seniors. Yes, yes, a very politically smart way of handling it.
At least he said something about it, which is more than I can say for 99% of politicians out there who are afraid of losing votes. With McGuinty, he has obviously shown that he doesn't care about how voters feel, as he shamelessly raises taxes everyday when not creating new ones.
Anyway, something has to be done about this issue, as these Seniors are -if not directly, then indirectly, causing all kinds of traffic-related deaths and injuries on the road.
I mean, its common knowledge that in Life, the mind goes full circle. You start off as a baby, slow to react and think, and slowly as you grow older, you get sharper and sharper, until you get to the point where now, you are slowly returning to where you were originally. I can safely say that once you hit 80 years old, you are now basically back to your lower teenage years and slowly getting younger (from a mental perspective). And the simple question here is, would you let your 8-12 year old drive on the road?
Yes yes, that was offensive... But it's the truth, no? If you don't believe me, go watch how 50-60 year olds deal with their Parents. You'll see them babying their parents, and treating them like children. Yet, you want to let these same people go out there on the roads and drive??
They may get offended, but at least there won't be anymore dead mothers as a result.
--jackandcokewithalime
(images taken from
http://www.comedycentral.com/press/series/southpark.jhtml?gallery=true (South Park Grey Dawn Screenshot 1)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/3/39/710_image_10.png/230px-710_image_10.png (South Park Grey Dawn Screenshot 2)
http://www.torontosun.com/news/torontoandgta/2010/01/12/12436701.html (Accident image))
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