Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Am I the only person who thought that Avatar was Boring??

Wow, did he just say that Avatar was boring?? Yes, I did!

Look, maybe my expectations were set so high (having to wait forever to finally watch the darn movie), that it didn't have a chance... I was expecting not only the world, but the entire universe, and how could any movie possibly deliver on that..

Well, if it was as good as people made it out to be, then maybe it should have given me the universe..

Yes, the special effects were awesome. I'll give you that. The scenery was nice, the little plants that moved when they touched them, the way the ground lit up wherever they walked, the cool squid-looking thingy coming out of their hair and connecting with the animals, that was cool... The flying dragon thingys and having to choose them and all of that crap, that was cool as well...

But dude, at the end of the day, does that stuff make a great movie?? That stuff is the garnish put on the perfect meal, no? At least for me, that doesn't automatically make it a great movie. And the 3D... Oooooooh, 3D... Come on.. 3D is nothing more than a gimmick to me... Put me in the middle of the action, that's something. But showing me something a bit closer lifted off of the screen? That's "cool" for the first 20 mins, but it's wow factor dies off fast..

Now Relax you Avatar die-hards... I'm just telling you how I felt about it..

You see, to me, a good movie starts with a great story, and these days, just having a simple linear good guy is with jerk friends who bully innocents, and the good guy eventually realizes he's wrong and helps the innocents story is just not sufficient anymore for today's viewer. We need depth!! We need twists and turns and mystery that actually keeps us guessing. Not a story that was so predictable that I was able to easily determine in the first 20 mins, the obvious milestones that were to come throughout the entire flick.. This way I could keep track of how much longer I would have to sit there watching this until it was finally done...

Again Avatar fans, relax... I'm just saying..

I expected Avatar to be a blast out of the gate, and non-stop relentless action over and over, bam bam bam bam bam bam, oh, ah, wow.... Unfortunately, it was nothing like that.

Maybe I wasn't impressed because I had seen 3D before.. You know, that Michael Jackson Disney thing back in the day that was in 3D... I'd seen the stuff being lifted off of the screen before, so maybe with all the talk of "over 10 years of research into 3D technology" and all of that crap, it made me expect some crazy new developments... Hey, maybe there was some stuff there that I can't appreciate if I'm not in the biz, but hey, if I, the average Joe movie-goer can't appreciate it, then what's the point? Right?

And I'm just getting tired of those typical BS scenes that just make me want to hurl.. Like that, "I didn't want to kill the animal... Then why did you? Why did you save me?.. I saved you because you have a strong heart"... Oh, Come On!!!! I have this thing that I do when BS - what's a word that I can use that's not offensive to homosexuals and women? Oh yeah, "cheesy"- scenes come on.. I usually start clucking like a chicken, and it drives my girl crazy!! Try it guys. When some obvious BS cheesy crap scene comes on that just makes you want to puke, and you look over at your girl and she's all into it, commence the clucking! "..Because you have a strong heart.." Bok, buk buk buk buk buk buk, bukok! Buk buk buk buk buk buk... Believe me, it helps with the nausea.. ;)     --I'm sorry ladies...

If I did that in the theatre, all of the 8 people total who were there watching it (yes, it was almost like a private theatre for us) would have been wondering what the hell was going on... Because it would have been non-stop clucking from me throughout the entire movie!

And I know I'm not alone in this. My buddy (who was there with his girl as well), was looking like he was sleeping behind those 3D glasses every time I looked at him to mutually mock the cheesy BS scene that was going on... That was more entertaining than the movie...

Cool ideas, neat scenery, but boring boring story...

Anyway, The Hurt Locker versus Avatar you ask? Yes yes... I caught the Hurt Locker as well, because I wanted to see if the Academy Awards truly did screw Cameron and Avatar for political reasons... I know when I saw the Hurt Locker win, I immediately thought that something had gone wrong, and I hadn't even seen either of the two movies yet! I automatically assumed that Avatar was the better movie... That's marketing for you, eh?

Honestly, I have to admit, The Hurt Locker was a more entertaining movie for me. Avatar really really bored me... I would have fallen asleep if I could have got comfortable, but Hurt Locker, it had me watching focussed for the entire movie, from beginning to end.

Now, the Hurt Locker Best Picture? I don't know about that.. I have to say though, at least Action Movies are getting looked at now at the Oscars... Yes, the war and yada yada.. I understand. But at the end of the day, did you ever think that Bruce Willis would get an Oscar Nomination for Die Hard? I mean, I really believed that he looked hurt in that one.. And he has to be the best at looking completely beat-the-hell-up, you know... But Action Stars getting Oscar Noms, wow. I consider that progress, still..

Anyway, I have yet to watch all of the Best Picture Nominated films, I mean, there were a ton of them this year, no? I'm sure you'll hear me talk about the others at some point eventually...

But again, yes, Avatar was boring for me.. What can I say? You want the truth, there it is. I wasn't super-impressed with all of the special effects and 3D and yada yada... Don't get me wrong, I want it, and I want all movies to go all out on that stuff. But, if you're going to spend the time and money, use it to back a far stronger story..

Hey, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I need to watch the movie again to appreciate it. Maybe it's one of those films that you need to watch twice to appreciate it...

On second thought, yikes!! 2 hours and 40 mins of that again?? Maybe if I'm drunk... Heh heh... Maybe that'll change it into a comedy, and then I can appreciate it for an entirely different reason...

I actually thought that The 5th Element was a better far more entertaining movie than Avatar... And there was a blue alien lady in that movie as well! Ok, all credibility lost now I guess..


PS: I welcome your comments of anger, oh ye Navi defenders!

PPS: James Cameron, please don't use your Billions to find me and make me pay for this... I'm Canadian too, eh!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/gnews/4416681211/sizes/l/ by gnews pics
Copyright: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/)


Anonymous said...

jack and coke with a lime your totally right, Avatar was so long and boring!!!

jackandcokewithalime said...

Thank you Anonymous!!


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